Wondering

I wrote Wondering about my journey discovering my sexuality

This was written a year before she kissed my breath away

At the time I thought I was in love with a boy

But my anxiety reguarding my sexuality took the best of me:

What if I'm gay and don't know it?

What if dating a girl is different?

What if I will forever question my sexuality?

I want to know what it's like to be in love with a girl

What if I never get that chance if I stay with him?

This song is a reflection of what I've experienced up until then

I've always been boy crazy

When I sing "I had my first crush in kindergarten"

I meant it

And I had several at once

I've had crushes on girls too without realizing it

My best friend in elementary school was my first real girl crush

She was the new kid in third grade and I

for some reason

Really Really Really wanted to be her friend

I was obsessed with Vanessa Hudgens in HSM

(Zac Efron did nothing for me)

The signs were there

I just didn't see them

I came out as bi in 2015

Then proceeded to quadruple guess myself for 7 more years

I was your stereotypical confused bisexual

I hurt a lot of people because of it

I would confuse actual problems with boys

With wanting to be with women

Being gay was my escape mechanism

I've grown a lot since then

I'm in a place where I no longer feel pressure to date any particular gender

I am currently happily single

I wanted Wondering to be the last song on the album

Because it summarizes my experience as a bisexual as a whole

A Very Bisexual Song is my most popular song

But it only references the stereotypes

I wanted to release a song that shows my real experiences

Bisexuality is more complex than cuffed jeans