Fate: Rediscovered

Fate is one of my favorite songs that I've ever written

The chord progression alone gives me a visceral reaction

In a way that none of my other songs do

The song itself is about coming to terms with my own decisions

I've had a history of on and off relationships that I'm not proud of

I was literally asking my ex to keep me in check

Because I didn't trust myself or my decisions

I missed him but I left for a reason

---

I recorded the Spotify version after my music theory class

That day we learned about 7th chords

so I went wild :)

I thought I was so cool knowing what an inversion was

I thought I was becoming "a real musician"

I had this Extremely Unhelpful Idea

That to be a musician, a songwriter:

You need to be able to improvise on the spot

You need to be able to read and write and transpose

You need to be able to accompany yourself

You need to know how to do everything yourself

And you need to know how to do it easily

I couldn't do that

So I assumed I wasn't a musician.

Learning inversions felt like the start of my musicianship

So I messed with Fate

I toyed with my new knowledge and posted it asap

I just started learning how to use Ableton and a midi keyboard

I posted it while I was on the top of the world

//

What I like about posting my music right when I finish

Is the fact that I can't touch them after

What's done is done

As a recovering perfectionist and sentimental girlie

This is very important to me

Music to me is a journal entry

It's shitty poetry

What I write in the moment is how I felt at that time

And I can revisit it whenever

I can share my music with the world

Some people might resonate

Some people might not

I know I do and that's all I need to share it

//

The Spotify version didn't do very well

And I understand because I don't like that version either ;)

On TikTok I got hundreds of views right away

Just me, my uke, and a dress I thought I looked cute in

Not a lot of people listen to a song and think

"Wow I bet they know all about inversions"

They listen to the song as a song

6 years and 30+ original songs later

I can finally call myself a musician

But not because I can figure out inversions (very slowly)

It's because I'm allowing myself to identify as one

I make music

So I am a musician

---

I've thought about taking my first recording down from Spotify

But that didn't seem fair to my past self

At the time I was proud

I was proud for the wrong reasons

But still proud

Plus there's someone out there who has it in a playlist

I don't want to ruin their vibe!

I rerecorded Fate today acoustically

I'm not the best with the technical stuff

But that will not stop me from making music

I've been telling myself to record it for 3 years now

I figured it's either now or wait another 3 years

I was getting discouraged because my recording weren't perfect

Before the second verse I saw 5:55 on the clock

I felt my voice get stronger

It wasn't perfect but it was done

And that was enough